


Animal Magnetism

by orphan_account



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Crack, Humor, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-04
Updated: 2012-03-04
Packaged: 2017-11-01 03:05:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody wants a piece of Jacob.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Animal Magnetism

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a [masseffectkink prompt](http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/2790.html?thread=5445862#t5445862) a few months back, but it's not porny or anything.

“You called?” Jacob smiles, pausing by the door of Miranda’s office.

“Yes,” Miranda says crisply, with her gloved fingers tight on the datapad she’s holding. “Think you could drop this off by engineering?” She rises to her feet.

“Yeah, sure.” He shrugs. Holding out his hand: “Toss it here.”

Miranda looks down at her desk, her mouth a thin line. Jacob waits. Wordlessly, Miranda walks over to place the datapad in his palm, and holds it there, until his fingers curl around its corner.

“Alright,” Jacob drags out the first syllable, nodding. “Just… ‘by engineering?’”

“Take it to Tali,” Miranda’s voice is chilled, stance predatory as she crowds him, and her eyes are suddenly smoldering. “EDI’s–”

“Yes, XO Lawson?”

“I wasn’t calling you,” Miranda snaps, before crossing her arms and taking a step back. She’s keeping her eyes on Jacob. “EDI’s having difficulty transferring these files. It’s simply more expedient to move a physical disk. Apparently.”

“It should have been in my capabilities, of which are extensive; I am running diagnostics.”

Miranda narrows her eyes at the glowing blue ball that’s projected from the wall. “You’ve already told me that.”

“Alright,” Jacob says, again, “well, glad to help. See ya.”

Miranda nods, cool, taking her sweet time in returning to her chair.

+

On his way to the elevator – the vast distance that _that_ is – Jacob stops just in time to avoid running into Garrus Vakarian.

“Sorry, man,” Jacob offers a winning smile.

“Er… yes, no, it is…” Garrus tilts his head. “Hello.”

“Hi.” Jacob walks past him, because this is already taking much, much longer than if the data had been transferred digitally. “Sorry,” he repeats, holding up the disc. Waiting for the doors to open, he glances back at Garrus, who is regarding him thoughtfully.

+

“You’ve reached the Engineering deck,” EDI informs him a millisecond before the light flashes green for confirmation.

“… Thanks, EDI.”

“Anytime.”

Huh.

Apparently, collisions are on the menu, because he runs smack into– Jack?

“Hell _o_ there,” she purrs, not bothering at all to untangle herself from him, since they fell on the ground. Hey, how did she end up straddling him? “You should watch where you’re–”

“You have unread messages awaiting you in the computer terminal on the Crew deck, Jack.”

“I can–”

“The elevator is open.”

“Yeah,” Jacob agrees helpfully, “‘cause, uh, I just got off there.”

Jack arches a brow. “ _Did_ you now? Well–”

“You have unread messages awaiting you in the computer terminal on the Crew deck, Jack.” EDI’s voice is a touch hastier than usual, like a recording played at faster rate.

“I didn’t mean like–”

“The datapad is .7 meters to your right, Jacob.”

“Thanks, EDI,” Jacob says out of habit, rolling out from under Jack and hauling himself up to his feet. He holds out his hand for Jack.

“For a Cerberus mutt, I think you’ve convinced me that chivalry–”

“This is a Cerberus vessel.”

“ _Thanks_ , EDI.” Jacob smiles tightly. Jack seems loath to go, but EDI reminds her that she has unread messages awaiting her in the computer terminal on the Crew deck, _Jack_.

+

Both engineers have what can only be described as fluttering eyelashes – _both of them_ – as they introduce themselves, and reintroduce themselves, before Tali waves him over.

“You–you have the data disc?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The light on Tali’s helmet blinks several times in rapid succession before she actually speaks. “Ah, right, right. Thank you.” She holds out a hand, then pulls it back to her side much too quick, shifting her weight from foot to foot. “I, um,” she laughs, and it’s a painfully awkward but surprisingly cheery sound, and Jacob just smiles. “My hand, I don’t– I hate looking like I’m– even when I _am_ ,” she pauses, and Jacob nods like he agrees, like he understands, and now her shoulders don’t look as locked-up as they did a second ago.

Jacob holds out the datapad.

Tali takes it, and he pretends not to notice that her hands are shaking.

“Thanks,” she says, before returning to the computers. Jacob stands there, turns around to leave just as she peeks over her shoulder, then he stands still, and–

“You need anything?”

“No!” Tali shakes her head. “I mean, thank you, but, no– I’ve kept you long enough– I’m sorry–”

“It’s fine. Take it easy,” he says.

“I will! I mean…” Tali slaps a hand over her helmet, and Jacob backs off and out and heads for the elevator, shaking his head and grinning to himself.

+

Later, glad to call it a day, Jacob slips into bed.

A voice rings out, computerized and carefully composed. “I will mute your omni-tool, and disable the displays, temporarily so that your sleep is undisturbed.”

“Thanks, EDI.”

“Dimming the lights to your quarters to 0%.”

“Thanks, EDI.”

Something catches his eye in the dark, some moments after, but, as far as he can tell, nothing is there.

A trick of the light, perhaps?

“I am detecting–”

Pained, Jacob flings an arm over his eyes because he just wants to _sleep_. “ _Good night_ , EDI.”

“… Good night, Jacob.”


End file.
